I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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