the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
