You made me cry and you don't even care
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
