This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When did angry sex become our thing?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize