Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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