I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
