I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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