i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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