I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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