i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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