fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I need water and some morals
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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