I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The best revenge is premature balding
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
