Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
