So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
