I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
