The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
