fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
