Duck Duck Cougar?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
