I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
