You're my little dorito
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
