Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
