it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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