We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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