After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm too high and old for this...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
