is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
