But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
