I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize