is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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