omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
