Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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