I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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