Me. At least after what I've been through.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
