I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
