Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
