But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
