My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
