My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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