He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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