Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
