love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
