i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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