doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
