Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
