Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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