if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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