Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
