He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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