Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
