So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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