So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
