Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
