Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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