im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
