break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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