Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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