You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
