he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
