im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
