I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
