She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
