dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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