She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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