wrigley field is MILF paradise
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think a kid would responsible me up
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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