you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
